Every journey has a last step
by Amy Solo
Summary: My second fiction... Anakin has already turned to the Dark Side, Leia's four and her mother is dying... Please R&R!


Disclaimer: as usual, none of those characters belong to me (except for Séléné, but as just appears once, I guess it's not really important…) they're all Mr. Lucas's property, and I'm just playing in his sandbox… I'm not making money with it, it's just made for fun!!!

It's my second fiction, and it's again translated from French… Thanks Kili!!!! An keep writing, I love what you do!

Comments and all that stuffs welcomed at: [amy_solo@hotmail.com][1]

Please R&R!!!!

AS

# Every journey has a last step…

Her room was dark. Very dark. There was just a tiny ray of pale light which had managed to force its way through the curtains decorated with silver stars. Leia held her blanket tight, and curled up in her little bed, still, listening to the noise of the grown-ups' steps in the corridors of the Palace. She was afraid, very afraid. And she was alone. In the dark.

With a hesitant hand, she reached for Mr. Sweetie, her teddy bear, and hugged him.

Something was going wrong, she knew that; Mummy didn't say anything, neither did Obi-wan, but she was sure of that. She had to know.

She stood up, Mr. Sweetie still snuggled up in her arms, and climbed the barrier of her bed without any problems, stacking up cushions on top of one another. Leia was very proud to be able to get out of her bed alone, but it would be better if the adults didn't know her little secret or they would find a way to force her to stay in her bed.

Without a noise, she headed toward the door of her room and stood on tiptoes to reach the handle. If only she was taller! She was certain that when she turned four, she wouldn't have any problems getting out of here; she just had to wait a little…

She stood straight a little more and hopped, until she was able to hang on the handle, and opened the tall pink door. Free, at last! Cautiously, Leia took a look in the corridor before going out.

The marble was cold under her bare feet, and the little girl thought a moment of going back in her room to take her slippers. Then she remembered that once, she had returned to her room, 'cause she had forgotten Mr. Sweetie, but the door had closed behind her and her mother had come to see if everything was all right… Too bad for her feet, but she preferred to endure the coolness of the floor than not to know what was happening…

She had hardly taken any steps in the large path, that she heard somebody coming. Quickly, she ran and hid in a dark spot, and waited a little. The footsteps went away, and the young explorer let out a sigh of relief.

She thought for a while; where did she have to go, if she wanted to know what was happening? The answer presented itself in her mind. The Council Room.

Mummy always went there when something serious was happening. But little girls weren't allowed in there, Obi-wan had explained that to her… But if it was more serious than usual? And if she was careful, they wouldn't see her…

Furtively, she headed toward the Council Room, watching out for grown-ups. The door was wide open, and nervous voices were coming from inside. Leia recognize Obi-wan's, and the one of two other Jedi she knew. The rest was just a confused hubbub. But why couldn't she hear Mummy's voice?

She didn't wait for the voices to calm down and took advantage of the unrest to slip into the room. With a beating heart, she ran and crept behind a wooden panel, then squatted.

"Hush, Mr. Sweetie" she murmured. "Don't make any noise, okay?"

The bear didn't move, but something in his eyes seemed to express his agreement. Leia nodded her head.

"Good. Now, we find Mummy."

She put her arms around her knees and let her hair wrap around herself, as much to try to melt away in the shadows as to benefit of the sweet warmth this improvised blanket offer her.

Suddenly silence reigned in the room, and Leia was afraid that she had been discovered. But Obi-wan's voice came to break it.

"There's nothing else we can do for her," he declared sadly. "The last thing we can do is to hide the children in a safe place, where the Emperor and their father will never find them."

Nobody said a word, and Leia wondered who were the children Obi-wan was talking about. Why didn't they want their father to be with them? It was nasty, and so unfair! Leia didn't understand why they wanted to do that to children of her age. She clenched her fists, really angry. She never saw her father, and she knew that she'd probably never see him; she didn't want that some other little girls and boys knew that! Mr. Sweetie seemed as furious as she was…

She suddenly realised that all the adults had left, and she decided to leave too. Thinking she was safe, she left her hiding place four-legged and stood up. The little girl turned toward her soft toy, which was still sitting in a corner of her former refuge, and waited for it to join her.

"Come on, Mr. Sweetie, we're leaving…"

The head of the little bear fell on his chest, and Leia raised her shoulders.

"Come, you coward, or I come and get you!"

As Mr. Sweetie didn't make a move, she went back behind the panel and took him in her arms.

Luckily for her, grown-ups were a little absent-minded tonight, and they let the big door open… She chose not to think about what would have happened if she had been trapped inside. Mum wouldn't certainly have been happy, and Ben even less…

Lugging her teddy bear, Leia decided to go into her mother's room. They would know that she could get out of her bed, but something was really wrong tonight, and she was scared. When she passed her head in the corridor to verify that the way was clear, the little princess felt raised in the air and cried out in surprise.

"Hey, you little girl, weren't you supposed to be in your bed a long time ago?" 

Leia raised her head and met Obi-wan's worried look. The Jedi Master's voice was tinged with melancholy, and he looked drawn, as if he hadn't slept since in a week.

" Eer… Was really thirsty" Leia lied. "And Mr. Sweetie's afraid when it's dark, so he wanted to go out.."

Obi-wan smiled sadly, and hugged the child.

"Is that true, Mr. Sweetie?"

He seemed to wait for an answer, and Leia stood up in his arms.

"Well, I see… But why are you afraid of darkness, Mr. Sweetie?" 

"You can speak with him too?" Leia asked with a astounded voice.

"Please wait a second, Leia" the Jedi murmured before talking to the teddy bear again. "I think I can solve your problem, Mr. Sweetie. When you go to bed, I'll leave a small light on, all right? That's good…"

Obi-wan turned then toward Leia, who was watching him chatting with her soft toy as if it was something normal.

"Of course I can speak with him, Little Lady! Why do you ask?"

"No, no… for nothing…"

He had again one of those sad smiles he seemed to have very often these days, and embraced her again. Leia said nothing, but she was very disturbed. The only adult that listened to her and understood her, except her mother, was acting in a really strange way tonight.

"Ben, can I go and see Mum? Mr. Sweetie don't want to sleep if she hasn't wished good night to him… Can we go and see her, please?" 

"Leia…"

His voice, so controlled and confident usually, became suddenly hoarse, and the little girl felt that her mother was personally involved in the matter that perturbed everyone.

"Obi-wan, where's my mum? Where's my mum?" she repeated, staring at him wide-eyed because of the fear and the surprise.

The Jedi took a deep breath, and stared at the kid with his blue grey gaze.

"Leia, there's something I have to tell you… You're a big girl, aren't you?"

The princess nodded silently, wondering what he was going to tell her. Anyway, that seemed very important, and serious.

"Good… Very good…" He stopped, as if he couldn't find his words. "Leia, your mother is not well… She's ill – very ill and… Little Princess, you… you know what Heaven is, don't you?"

As he was going to go on, she interrupted him. She was little, yes, but she was not stupid and she knew what he was trying to say, but she didn't wanted to hear it.

"No. No, I don't want."

"Leia…" he tried to reason with her, with his soft voice that made her feel like crying. "Leia, your mother will go to…"

"No!" she cut him, trying to get free of his embrace. "No! You're a liar! That's not true!"

She screamed, and started to cry.

"Let me go! You're not my friend! Daddy!"

Obi-wan seemed as overwhelmed by sorrow as she, and tears were shining in his eyes. Leia struggled by dint of kicks, clawing, biting, like a wild little animal, so that she managed to escape from his arms, and she began to run toward her mother's room, forgetting Mr. Sweetie in Obi-wan's arms.

The Jedi called her many times, but she refused to turn round, running faster on the rough and cold floor. She had to see her mother, to prove to herself that Obi-wan was wrong, that he lied to her. Mummy was all right, she knew that. She would never have left her, even if she was not always a good girl, and she did some stupid things, 'cause her mum loved her, and she often told her.

Or perhaps she was having a bad dream, and she would soon wake up because Mummy would have heard her cries, and she would have come to take her in her arms, hold her tight, and dispel the nightmares. Leia would stay snuggled up to her, and she would have breathed in her perfume deeply, as she always did when her mother came to kiss her good night.

Was she awake or sleeping, she didn't know anymore, but she continued to run until she found her mother's bedroom in the large corridors that seemed to gobble her up. When the door was in sight, she stopped and rubbed her eyes with her tiny fists, to erase the tears. She didn't want her mother to know that she had just cried because of Obi-wan; after all, she loved him a lot, and she didn't want him to be punished because he had said something bad. 

She knocked, and waited for someone to open to her. Usually, like when she was afraid of thunder or monsters that were hidden under her bed, she came in without waiting, because Mummy was already sleeping… 

But tonight, Leia was sure that she was awake; with all that restlessness, her mother was probably up for a long time. One of her mother's maidens opened the door; she didn't see the little girl immediately. As she was going to go back in the room, she looked down and finally noticed her presence. Leia rewarded her with an angelic smile, to be sure that the young girl would let her in; it always worked. Even so, the young maiden hesitated, and considered once more the saintly face of the Princess.

"Night! Mummy's here?" she said with another smile that could have melted a glacier. Leia frowned as the girl didn't answer, and put her hands on her hips with a determined face. Suddenly, a voice came from the back of the room… "Séléné, who is it?"

Leia's heart leaped in her chest; it was her mother's voice, but so strange, so weak!

"Your Highness,…" Leia didn't wait for the maiden to announced her, and threaded her way between the woman's legs to run toward the large bed. When she was able to see her mother, she stopped dead.

Her mother, the great Amidala, the invincible Warrior Queen, the wise and determined senator, the one who reassured her when she was afraid, the one who comforted her when she was sad, who read stories for her, who sang lullabies for her, her mother was lying in the middle of a large bed, making her look more thin than a porcelain doll. Her cheeks, so colourful in the past, flushing at a phenomenal speed, were now pale; her long hair, usually bright and impeccable, was untied, spreaded out around her like a wreath; but above all, her eyes, that were in Leia's memory so bright, sparkling and mischievous, like her own eyes, seemed now weary, tired and reflected a melancholy that Leia had never seen in her.

Her whole body shaking, she remained still at several meters away from her mother, contenting herself to observe her, too shocked to be able to speak.

" Leia…" her mother whispered so softly that Leia had the feeling that each word cost her a terrible effort. "Leia, come here…"

The young woman asked her silently to sit beside her, and the little girl obeyed, trying unsuccessfully to hold back her sobs.

"Mummy… Mummy, what's the matter?" the little Princess whispered with a miserable voice. 

Her mother stare at her for some long seconds, her gaze lost in another world. Obi-wan's arrival saved her to answer.

The Jedi put his hands on the little girl's shoulders, but she freed herself by a lively and bad-tempered move. As upset as she, perhaps hurt by that gesture of rejection, Obi-wan moved backwards a few steps, staring at the queen lying in the middle of her death bed, so immense in comparison of the tiny woman it was accommodating. 

Once more, he was stunned by the intensity of the wave she created in the Force field, even when she was so weak. Perhaps it was a part of Anakin's strength she had absorbed in a way, during their short marriage, before the young man was seduced by the Dark Side of the Force… Anyway, her presence, for a Jedi, was brighter than a star, and he already knew that Leia had the same bearing… and she already had a fabulous potential, for a child of her age. With a wave of sorrow, he thought to the little boy, Luke, who just like his twin-sister, could one day become an exceptional Jedi, if he had the chance.

His eyes had closed themselves to hold back his tears, and he opened them again to contemplate the sight of the young queen, hugging her child, the one who hadn't been taken away from her…

"Mummy" Leia murmured between two sobs, "Don't leave me alone…"

"You're not alone, Little Lady" Amidala answered with a voice hardly more audible than a whisper. "You have Ben, your friends, Mr. Sweetie… and you know I'll always be with you, darling…"

"You'll be an angel?"

Obi-wan bit his lip, and saw the young woman blinked several times for not to cry… She had told him of her first meet with Anakin, again and again, with the same tenderness and passion in the back of her eyes, the voice full of sorrow and regrets…

_Are you an angel?_

The woman's arms tightened around her daughter, and she tried to smile, but her tired face wouldn't even have deceived Leia.

"Yes, Leia, an angel… And I'll always be looking after you… always, my lovely Leia…"

Her voice seemed to fade, and Obi-wan believed one second that everything was over; but the young woman's chest was still raising at the rate of her jerky breath. Leia sat down on the floor, next to the bed, and her mother's hand landed in her long brown hair, before falling softly on her little shoulders .Leia sniffed, and held her mother's hand against her cheek, then seemed to fall asleep.

Obi-wan move forward then, and looked for the queen's gaze. She had a tender smile for her daughter, then her look fell on the Jedi Master who had trained her husband… and failed. He wasn't sure if she had a grudge against him, but he felt horribly guilty; all of what was happening was his fault. He stared at Amidala, who had undoubtedly suffered more than any other during this war, whose husband had become one of the greatest tyrants in history, and whose son had been taken away from her. He stared then at Leia, who would perhaps never know her brother, and who was going to lose her only family. He had a thought for little Luke, on Tatooine, who wouldn't even have known his mother.

He missed Qui-Gon, and Anakin, the young man he knew, his friend, his padawan. As if she was able to read in his mind, Amidala raised a hand, and smiled, a frank, friendly, warm smile, a smile that shook up his heart and made him feel more guilty than ever…

"Obi-wan" she said, her look strangely confident and resolute. "There's something I must tell you…"

The Jedi sat on the bed, taking care not to wake up the dozing child. He took the hand she held out to him, and kissed her on the forehead. She had been a part of his life, as Qui-Gon, Anakin and Leia, and he deeply loved her. The first time they met, he had known she was incredibly wise, brave and totally devoted to her people; he had always immensely respected her, and had learnt to know little by little the young girl that hid in that armour of bravery and determination.

The young woman, even if he still saw her like the fifteen-years-old young girl he had known, shivered, and he came back to reality.

"Obi-wan, promise me you'll take care of her…"

The Jedi silently nodded, and waited for her to go on.

"And, if… if you see him again… if you can make him return to the good side… Please tell Ani I love him, and I always will, even from up there…"

Holding back his tears, he acquiesced, and she let out a relieved sigh.

" Obi-wan… Luke… Tell him… tell him his mother has always loved him… and I'm sorry… for everything…" 

"No… It's me… my fault… I'm sorry…"

"Don't be… It had to happen like that… Destiny is stronger…" She stopped and smiled sadly. "Last night, I had a dream… Strange dream, you know?…Like a… a premonition, a Jedi vision… I saw Leia, and Luke… They weren't children anymore, they were almost adults… and they were together, happy…And I'm sure they'll be…"

"So am I..."

The silence reigned, then Leia suddenly raised her head as her mother let out a painful moan. Obi-wan knelt beside Leia, and put his hand on those of the mother and her daughter. Amidala watched them and smiled once more, as she saw that her child would have someone to take care of her and to love her.

Leia stood on tiptoes, but she wasn't tall enough; the Jedi helped her, and she kissed her mother on the cheek. "Love you, Mummy…"

"I love you too, Leia… Forever…"

The Queen gave Obi-wan a knowing look, and he remembered what he had promised to her, a moment ago…

"There is no emotion," he began to recite with a husky voice, "there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion ,there is serenity."

He stopped, and raised his eyes to her. She encouraged him by a soft squeeze on his hand; he swallowed, then nodded.

"There is no death… there is the Force…"

She let out another sigh, but this time, it was a sigh of relief, and happiness; she wasn't afraid of dying anymore, now that she knew that Leia and Luke would be loved, and that they would meet one day, so she slowly closed her eyes…

Leia didn't move, then softly sniffed before letting out one of her strident howls. Obi-wan took her in his arms, hugged her, repeating to her that he loved her and he would always be with her, as much to sooth her as to feel less lonely, then he let himself fall on the floor, sitting before the bed in which Amidala was resting in an eternal sleep.

   [1]: mailto:amy_solo@hotmail.com



End file.
